


Do you understand?

by Dustydexx



Category: Lazer Team (2015), Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Brief mention of Adam, M/M, Short lil thing, Tagging this is so weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 08:46:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5916847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dustydexx/pseuds/Dustydexx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Listen, I know Zach can be a bit of a dick." Hagan starts and Woody tries to open his mouth and reply already but Hagan is cutting him off immediately. "Okay, he's a dick. But he's grown on me, y'know. Like an annoying yet somehow endearing wart. He's really not as much of an asshole as he makes people think."</p>
<p>Woody wants to interject and tell him he already knows all this. Zach is his bloody boyfriend after all, and he'd known the man much longer than Hagan had. But he politely let's Hagan continue, curious to see where this is going.</p>
<p>"And I know you're a good guy but if you hurt him I'm going to shove my glove up your ass and activate the shield. Do you understand?" Woody doesn't reply for a moment, thinking Hagan is gonna break into a smile, clap him on the shoulder and laugh or something. </p>
<p>But he doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do you understand?

Their relationship didn't come as a shock to anyone. Not Hagan and especially not Herman, the latter having been Woody's best friend and drinking partner for years. Because of this Herman had been the one man audience to Woody's drunken and slurred praises of the Milford quarterback for just as long. 

'He's so cute Herman, have you seen the way he looks when he wins a game?'

'Yeah I have, Woody.'

'Sometimes I get him water and his hand touches mine and I can't even think.'

'You can't think anyways.'

'He's probably straight, huh? I don't know though I mean I saw him staring at a guy's butt in our math class once.'

'I dunno, Wood.' 

Hagan and Herman had known of their feelings all along, where there should've been shock at the announcement was instead amusement and playful jabs of 'took you long enough.' That's why Woody should've expected Hagan to pull him aside one day and give him a stern talking to. The quarterback and cop's relationship had started out rocky at best but quickly Hagan transitioned into Zach's father figure. 

Through disaster, teamwork and hardship their tension had turned to trust, friendly banter and playful insults that coupled with genuine compliments and exclamations of pride. Woody knew Zach had a deadbeat and usually abusive father, and he knew that Hagan's paternal instincts were always kicked up to 11. So the playful family relationship that sparks between them doesn't surprise Woody in the least. 

They didn't just play and tease though, more than once Woody had woken up to Hagan's suppressed but unyielding pained sobs and Zach's reassuring shushs. He could never quite make out everything Hagan cried but he could always recognize the name 'Adam.' No one ever mentioned it but Woody always caught the gleam of happiness and child like excitement that filled Zach's gorgeous brown eyes every time Hagan touched his shoulder and said, 'Good job, kid.' or something akin to that. 

Hagan and Zach are tightly woven, the entire team is but they are in way that even Herman and Woody aren't. Which is why Woody shouldn't have been confused when Hagan beckons him to the hallway after training. 

-

Woody comes along easily, curious but suspecting Hagan has something important to say, probably pertaining to him or the team.

"Listen, I know Zach can be a bit of a dick." Hagan starts and Woody tries to open his mouth and reply already but Hagan is cutting him off immediately. "Okay, he's a dick. But he's grown on me, y'know. Like an annoying yet somehow endearing wart. He's really not as much of an asshole as he makes people think."

Woody wants to interject and tell him he already knows all this. Zach is his bloody boyfriend after all, and he'd known the man much longer than Hagan. But he politely let's Hagan continue, curious to see where this is going.

"And I know you're a good guy but if you hurt him I'm going to shove my glove up your ass and activate the shield. Do you understand?" Woody doesn't reply for a moment, thinking Hagan is gonna break into a smile, clap him on the shoulder and laugh or something. 

But he doesn't.

In fact, Hagan has an expression that would make a rock look animated. His lips are pressed into a thin line, blue eyes hard and narrowed. Hagan's forehead is wrinkled with lines from the expression but over all he's serious in a way that Woody can't describe- his helmet immediately begins suggesting a list of possible words for what the wearer is thinking of on the left of the screen. 

_Austere_  
_Dour ___  
_Steely_  
_Forbidding_  
_Disconcerting_  
_Hosti-_

__Mentally willing away the words, Woody focuses on Hagan's warning, tough words and steely expression. And all he can muster in his shocked and definietely more than a little scared state is,_ _

__"If you keep frowning like that you're going to get more wrinkles."_ _

__Woody's pretty sure that Hagan would punch him if it weren't for the helmet obstructing his possible target._ _

__Hagan doesn't attempt to inflict any bodily harm upon the hillbilly- thankfully. To Woody's utter shock he just shakes his head, running his ungloved hand over his face. "Alright. Good talk. Just remember what I said, ok?"_ _

__Woody has the good sense to just nod this time, watching nervously as Hagan turns and leaves, grumbling something that the younger can't quite hear under his breath._ _

__-_ _

__Later when Woody relays this information unto his boyfriend, Zach nearly dies of laughter. "Zachary! It's not funny, it was bloody scary!" He whined, looking down at the laughing man who has his head resting on Woody's crossed legs._ _

__"You're right-" Zach manages between loud laughs, brown eyes crinkled at the corners and smile wide. "it's fucking hilarious!" The elder pouts, crossing his arms over the standard grey DEITA shirt covering his torso._ _

__Zach cracks his eyes open and wipes little tears away, smiling up at the other. "Sorry, sorry. That's just really funny." He amends, gathering his breath back. "It's even funnier that you're more scared of what Hagan would do to you."_ _

__What? Woody tilts his head in confusion, eyebrows furrowing. With the helmet his IQ increased ten fold and gave him all sorts of cool brain tricks. So it's not often that he's confused by simple sentences or statements, not when he has literally whole galaxies' worth of information at his disposal._ _

__This is one of those rare times._ _

__"Wot?" The squawk is evidence of Woody's befuddlement as he trains his green eyes on Zach, the younger grinning brightly and sitting up, the very picture of causal innocence._ _

__"You're scared of what Hagan would do to you if you hurt me. But you should be scared of what I'd do. He's got a shield, I have a **canon.** " The statement is so simple, so blunt, not even intentionally eerie or perturbing. And that's probably what spooks Woody the most._ _

__The laugh Woody let's out is nervous, a little too high pitched for his liking as he gulps, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "Haha, that was a funny joke." The smile is forced, mostly a reassuring gesture towards himself. "That...was a joke, right? That's a joke, innit?" The question transforms ever so slightly into a plea, the elder feeling pressure against the side of his helmet that he registers as Zach's kiss against the item before the teen's slipping off the top bunk while Woody speaks._ _

__"Wait, Zach. Zachary?" He squeaks again, his boyfriend just winking a gleaming brown eye before exiting the room, leaving a horrified Woody in his wake._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Idk man I'm Lazer Team trash.
> 
> Come talk Lazer Team to me at dustydexx.tumblr.com


End file.
